Do you have a partner? Are you married, or perhaps thinking about it? So many things change when we get a partner. Things that are big, like the idea of sharing a life with one person forever. Or even small things like what to do for date night. Relationships are exciting. The time of getting to know one another is special and you may find that you are doing everything with your partner. Doing a lot with your partner is a great way to learn and grow with them, to be sure that they are the one you want to call your own! However, are you a more independent person? Do you enjoy doing things on your own, or taking some alone time to recharge your batteries? What if this feeling persists even when you have found a person that you are getting to know? What if this feeling persists into marriage? Is it a bad thing to desire some independence in a relationship? Not in the least. You and your partner have different needs. Each one should be able to respect those needs and be able to give the other the ability to be themselves.
Here are three ways to maintain your independence in your relationship.
Talk
One huge thing that a couple must do from the start is communicate. As we get to know one another, we learn what the other likes and dislikes. In time, you will find that you and your partner may have many things in common. You may also find that your partner may be more prone to sticking by your side more often than not. It is natural to want to be with your partner, but for someone that does have a measure of independence, it may be important to express your need for a little time. Putting your needs on the back-burner can lead to some dangerous consequences. If you are an independent individual that spends much of their time alone, it can be hard to abandon that way of life. Especially if you have been that way for a long period of time or most of your life. After a while, tension may build from not taking the proper time to yourself, which can lead to arguments and unhappiness in your relationship. It is imperative to talk to your partner and let them know that you enjoy some time to yourself. Again, if your relationship is healthy, your partner will understand and respect your viewpoint as you so respect theirs.
Don’t Lose Your Friends!
One thing that is very common in a relationship is the idea of losing touch with friends you had before you got into a relationship. This can be hard for your friends and later for you. People who care about you, and want to see what is best for you, will stick with you in life. Remember to include your friends in your relationship. Introduce your partner to them and let them spend time getting to know each other as well. Did you use to go out for dinner and drinks with your friends before your relationship? Albeit, things have changed and you are not able to do exactly what you used to, but be sure to try to schedule a time during the month to spend a night out with your friends. A healthy relationship is letting your partner spend time with their friends and relax. Keeping that bit of independence allows you have your identity and keep the interests and people you love close.
Hobbies
Do you have a hobby that you yourself particularly enjoy? Are you into painting, building with Legos, or video games? Either way, don’t put that hobby aside! Having another person in your life can take time and can make life busier. But if you have always had a hobby that you were passionate about, you need to keep that flame lit! People are different and therefore enjoy different things. So long as your hobby does not take away from the relationship and make day-to-day life difficult, and the proper time is still given to your partner, there is no reason to give up a healthy hobby that you enjoy. Hobbies also help us to let off steam from things in our lives such as work or a stressful situation we face. And again, in a healthy relationship, your partner should be behind your hobby or interest. It all takes balance and can be so worth it.
Being an independent person doesn’t mean you must sacrifice that wonderful quality while in a relationship. Being true to yourself and communicating with your partner makes it more and more apparent as the days go by that you are with the person you will be with forever. You can be independent in your relationship and keep balance.
