“I feel like they fit so well and are so compatible, but I wonder if they feel the same?”
“Am I the only one that feels this way?”
There are so many questions that rush through our minds when we are on the path to marriage. Of course, we want to find that perfect someone that will fit like a missing puzzle piece into our lives. That best friend that you can spend all of your days with. Build a home with and have a family, where that is just you and your partner, or children as well! It is a weighty decision and can come with a lot of emotion and time investment. But what are some things to look for when you are thinking this person may be “THE one”?
Time
How much time have you spent with this person? Have you been friends for a long time and that would talk on and off over the years? Or perhaps this is someone you met at a restaurant or at an event, even through a mutual friend. Any way you slice it, how much time have you spent with this person? Getting to know a person is one of the beautiful parts of dating and relationships. Taking the time to get to know their likes, dislikes and everything in between can be so helpful in a relationship. Some people take lots of time to date to get to know each other. Some only months, the most important thing is making sure that you do not feel rushed. You have to make sure that you feel comfortable with the amount of time that you have been together and that your partner feels the same! A rushed decision can lead to problems later on. So be sure to take the time you need to get to know one another on a deep level.
Responsibility and Expectations
Have you and your partner talked about what you expect from one another? After spending time together, have you approached the subjects of what you expect from each other if you were to tie the knot? Who would manage the finances, clean the house and take care of the home? Is it something that you each wish to split 50/50? Knowing what you and your partner expect from one another, is another great way to determine if you would be compatible in the long run. Granted, things change and so will you. As we age, we get more set in our ways and we change. But if you both hold the same principles and standards, the easier it will be as you settle into married life. Not talking about these things can do more harm than good. Topics can sometimes be a little hard to jump into, but if they are not addressed, then things can go up in smoke rather quickly. Trust that your partner wants to be on the same page as you! It will be beneficial to you both in the end.
Communication
One of the BIGGEST parts of having a forever partner is communication. Much like time, communication is better as your relationship goes on. You learn different things about your partner. Maybe things that you didn’t know were even an issue. Communication and long talks help you get to know the deeper, more intimate part of a person and their feelings. Now, communication can be tough, especially if a person is prone to keeping things to themselves. As uncomfortable as it may seem, communication is one of the number one thing that can help a relationship. It will also help you learn what your communication styles are! Everyone communicates differently. That being said, sometimes what could come across to you as plain and simple, may not be so in your partner’s case. Learning each other’s communication style can be helpful, especially when there is a disagreement. Learning to talk things out when you are calm, makes it easier to wade through a tough discussion when the time comes. Communication is key to a healthy and functioning relationship.
There is so much to learn to determine whether your partner is the one for you. Always remember that no matter who you end up with, that no one is perfect. But the person you choose is the closest to perfect for you. If you take the time and communicate about what you expect from one another and what life you want to lead with your partner, you are sure to have a good relationship for years to come and a happy healthy relationship that you will both enjoy.
